Heart Cracked Open – Tough Week

There are moments in time that seem to crack open hearts. I will say that today is one of those days for me. As I was listening to our Sunday message and taking notes on my tablet a message flashed across my screen that Kobe Bryant died in a helicopter crash. I felt a bit guilty that I found it hard to concentrate after that…….. My mind wandered and felt a weird sense of loss for someone I never met and who didn’t know me. Someone who would never know me out of the crowd or ever know my name…

Why should this impact me? I had to dig into my heart and check that and understand the depths of my heart and why I react or feel what I do. This week has seen a few close friends and loved ones hit with loss, pain, and struggle. Without sharing too much that I shouldn’t, this week I watched separate cherished people in my life loss of a dearly loved grandmother, another lost a dearly loved mother, someone else continue to support and strengthen their family through sever and discouraging pain, and then felt the pain a family pet that just had a really bad health week. Through these, I try to be a good friend and there to support and help, but I have to admit, I am on the outside and I struggle to connect to how they feel. I feel guilty….

Why does Kobe’s death affect me? I think it is strange that while I never new the man, he was a part of my life and the shared experience that I had with so many people in my life that my heart felt as though I knew him, while I KNOW I did not. He (and so many other Lakers) have been a part of our collective “family” as they were in the room as we were all around the TV cheering them on and experiencing the highs and lows of the journey. It is very similar to the sense of “family” that I feel with men and women I have played sports with myself over the years. I have stories from through the years of those teammates that have turned them into valued presence in my life and where my connection to them is personal and not academic or just list of facts.

So, after thinking more about it, I don’t feel as guilty about being affected. But honestly, I started out questioning why this man’s passing affected me more that the other people on that helicopter. I mean, I didn’t know them either…. Shouldn’t they be just as important to me? And from the big picture, the ARE important, but I just don’t have a personal connection, a story, or have been touched by them. So, I get it and I can let go of the guilt.

So, it is interesting though, Kobe’s death has made me think and dig deep….. Am I failing those who are in my life and not sharing Christ with them? Am I truly expressing love to those cherished and loved people in my life in a tangible and real way that SHOWS them and that the KNOW they are loved. Does my life communicate to them that they are loved by me and by CHRIST! Do I share with them their value to God and do it in a sensitive, kind, and respectful way. A way that does not communicate judgement, arrogance, pride, or hatred. A way that is kind, loving, and yet not compromising in honor, truth, and representing Christ the way He would want. Do they know I love them!?!?!?

I am having to reflect on how I feel. How I care for others. How do I be a man that represents the Lord well. I have to reflect on how I can be a better man and I am sharing this to challenge you to do the same. I challenge you to reach out to others who both agree and disagree with you and show them love, treat them with kindness while still pushing each other to honestly think and become better. I am not suggesting that we don’t disagree. In fact, we should TOTALLY disagree and challenge each other, but show LOVE while doing it and being respectful, authentic, and KIND. That’s it for now. My thoughts are still developing, and I don’t claim to have them totally coherent.

John 3:16 New International Version (NIV)

16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Romans 10:9-13 New International Version (NIV)

9 If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. 11 As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.”[a] 12 For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, 13 for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”[b]